Sorry for the MIA-ness as of late. I’ve been too busy mourning the lack of Game of Thrones in my life. I thought about reading the books, but then I realized I’d be no good to you all in my Tarot predictions as they would be considered “biased.” I’ve been watching Newsroom (very good!) and True Blood (also very good!), but missing my bloody, boob-filled dance in medievalish fantasty more than HBO could ever pay me to say. Why DON’T they pay me, by the way? Apparently, I live for their shows. HEAR THAT HBO???? GIVE ME A JOB WATCHING YOUR STUFF!
Anyway, I’m hear to talk Melisandre! That’s right–our favorite creepy, red-headed religious fanatic who practices all kinds of sorcery. Since I hope I’m your favorite creepy, red-headed religious-Witch-but-not-a-fanatic-(I hope), I thought I’d pop in to shed some light on what the Red Priestess is up to and its reality in Witchcraft:
Oh, for such supple lighting and root-less color, at all times.
Burning the Seven
When we first meet Melisandre, she’s burning statues of The Seven, the other Gods in Westeros because she thinks her God is better than all the other Gods. She gets all the crowd to chant along with her, renounce their religions, and follow hers. She then gets Stannis to pull a burning sword out of one of the statues, which proves to everyone that he’s a kind of Jesus–there to save all the people.
Burn Baby, Burn.
Would a real Witch do this?
Um. No. At least, not any Witch that I know or would want to associate with. Burning effigies of other Gods??? That’s a recipe for super-Karmic-Disaster. Those Gods will kick your butt, Melisandra. We’re talking plagues-of-locusts-crawling-out-of-your-skin-bad. I’VE NOT READ THE BOOKS AND I’VE SWORN OFF THE ICE AND FIRE WIKI SO I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS COMING FOR THE RED PRIESTESS! A real-world Witch would run screaming from such a situation. Most of us don’t like proselytizing, which she’s all up and doing, and most would rather have other people’s Gods on our side or at least, liking us enough to leave us alone. Burning them in honor of another God? Not a good idea, M. Not a good idea at all.
Birthing the Demonic Thing
Melisandre is perhaps best known for pushing the smoky-demon thing out of her hoo-ha, which eventually goes off to kill Renly. What IS that nasty thing? Do such things actually exist?
Are Demonic Smoke-Spawn Typical Witchy Things?
Historically, Witches are known to have a “Fetch:” A spiritual entity that does their bidding. I believe this is what GRRM was going for in this scene. Do Witches employ such things? I know a number of Witches who claim to have Fetches that do their bidding. Much less glamorous, mind you. Mostly to find lost cats, car-keys, or to help them find a job. But none of these Witches claim to push them out of their vags…I think lighting candles and strong visualization are the preferred methods. I know no one who uses them to assassinate politicians…if they did, senators would be dropping dead all over Texas.
Human Sacrifice of Gendry. Or at least, a vain attempt.
Melisandre goes on a big-ass sojourn to find King’s Blood. You know, she totally could have substituted herbs for that (I’m pretty sure. Probably should ask my botanist Covener) and not gone all over the place, seducing poor Gendry, and then sticking leeches all over him when he was all bound up. But it wouldn’t have made for such a good story. She then had her boyfriend Stannis BORE-atheon burn the poor leeches (yes, I actually feel sorry for the leeches in this scene) as a nasty spell meant to kill off all the other Kings that Stannis feels threatened by.
Would a Real Witch Do This?
Oh…HELL no. One of our creeds may say, “All Acts of Love and Pleasure Are Sacred,” so there’s no problem with the sexy-sex time…but we also have this thing called “An Harm Ye None.” That includes not putting blood suckers all over the limbs and pecker of a person, and then burning the small creatures alive–no matter how icky leeches are and how much they really should stay deep in the river far, far, far away from me. A real Witch would probably do an empowerment exercise with Stannis, and banish away whatever insecurities he has that might be holding him back from his true destiny. “Let’s also talk True Destiny for a moment, Lord Stannis. Is this *truly* your calling? Or is this your ego ruining everyone’s lives?”
Now, would a Real Witch do THIS???
I can’t speak for all Witches…but I’d sure as hell hop that broomstick.